"There is a soul force in the universe, which if we permit it, will flow through us and produce miraculous results." —Mahatma Gandhi
I adore San Diego’s many gifts! Ocean breezes, scrumptious seafood and a wide array of diversity make this an ideal place to call home. This city has the power to awaken my adventurous spirit and my creativity. Our home, its previously blank white walls are now adorned with my many art pieces. Seeming this to be the perfect place to call home, why am I still hearing another place calling me? I shake off this feeling and come back to reality. I need to focus on our current situation.
It’s day three of our workshop entitled “Finding the truth from Within.” It was created by Eli and myself over the past many months. Having met at the Transpersonal Hypnotherapy Training in Copper Mountain, we experience the power of our inner world on a regular basis. Created in these same walls, we are watching the potency of this workshop, which is emitting emotional responses and movement on a daily basis.
Leif and Alicia are visiting from Boulder. Our dear friends have agreed to participate and give us honest feedback on our creation. We have seven more days of exploring, learning and sharing together. Waking up in the same home and practicing the art of “looking within” has its challenges and great opportunities as well.
Leaning back and enjoying the comfort of the corduroy couch, Leif says, “This workshop has been so rewarding in many ways. How about we amp it a bit? I have an idea…..let's continue the next week of our time together in Sedona?” with an air of innocence I so enjoy.
Snuggled next to him, Alicia sits up with a full smile, “I like that idea, it would be so fun.” Alicia carries a natural beauty that emphasizes her smile.
“Hmm.....this really could enhance our experience.” Eli chimes in, really considering this possibility.
“Where’s Sedona?” I ask. I haven’t even heard of it.
All eyes turn my way simultaneously. “Wow, you haven’t heard of Sedona?”
I shook my head, “No...where is it? What’s so special about this Sedona?”
“It’s in Arizona....hmm....it has..... it is difficult to explain.”
“Try please.” I plead. “If you want me to completely shift gears, I’d like to at least have a hint of our destination. Are you suggesting driving there?”
Eli thought for a moment, “The real meaning is too deep, too elusive, too mysterious to be conveyed by our language. I’m wondering if any words can get the meaning fully.” Eli pauses.
“We could show you instead. Leif, I believe you are on to something.”
Eli’s admission of a lack of words available to him spurs me more than anything. Notoriously, Eli is a man of many words and opinions. This really sparks my curiosity.
“Right now? You want to drive there today? How long would it take?” I ask.
“Yay, this is perfect especially since you haven’t been there, Rhea my dear. Let’s just do it! We can be there by this afternoon.”
Alicia and Leif are nodding their heads simultaneously.
“We’re going to Sedona.” they sing several times a bit off key.
Feeling my adventurous spirit, I tease excitedly, “I’ll beat you to the jeep.”
As we are driving to this mysterious town, I find it amusing that my pioneer spirit was able to escape from family tradition. My roots strongly planted in the East Coast. It is uncommon, in my family, to venture beyond the borders of Ohio.
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Being an outcast in my family, I find it is hard for my sixteen year old self to give much to them when I’m the subject of disapproval and my heart is leaking from puncture wounds. I’ve been told that family constellations are fixed things. They don’t change just because I’ve learned the names of the stars. I want to believe everything can and will change. I need to hold onto this idea for it has become my life jacket, so to speak.
When I reveal to my therapist, “I am the black sheep of my family,” she corrects me and says, "You're the white sheep of the family. I see something in you that I hope one day you will see and appreciate as well.” I am trying to believe this. I want to believe this. It takes courage to grow up and be me.
The idea of leaving my Ohio high school friends for three weeks feels painful, even a bit scary. I adore my buddies. Still I wonder why I so need their support and love so much.
A driving trip from Ohio to California certainly “should” hold some appeal. There’s that Catholic guilt word "should" I have come to try to live with. My friend reminds me "should" is the plural of “shit.” See why I like having friends in my life. Yes leaving the grayness of the midwest “could” be a brilliant offer of adventure and newness, which I deeply cherish. However, leaving the social time of my buddies seems to be associated with ripping off one of my sixteen year old arms. Ew.... the pain.
With time, I surrender to this trip, as my parents insist I go with them. This is a dream trip for them. They have been stashing money aside for many years. Looking at the positive side, at least I will be the oldest child. This does seem to give me some fuel and a sense of temporary power, I suppose. You see, I am number six out of eight kids in this big Catholic family. Three brothers and four sisters. You know how everyone has their “role” to play in the family dynamic. Well I have chosen the rebel and I play it quite well. And this puts me low on the pecking order, so to speak. I decide I will somehow peck my way to the top on this trip. This becomes my new mission.
My dad enjoys the wee hours of the morning. So this is when our beaver board station wagon is packed and ready to become our new home away from home. I remember to pack my protective armor. Reluctantly, I lift my foot off of familiar soil to venture onto other unknown territory. I remind myself this is merely grooming for future endeavors.
Traveling through Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and Kansas becomes a bit of a blur. I am going through withdraw. Colorado seems to embrace me and I begin to feel my aliveness again! I notice a bumper sticker on the Jeep Cherokee in front of us, it reads,
“Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Taken.” This sparks my enthusiasm.
As I step onto Colorado’s plush soil, I glance at my mom,“I'm going to live here one day.”
With a look I’ve come to know too well, she replies, “Sure Rhea, sure thing.”
“Really Mom, I sense I am going to live out west one day.”
“OK, whatever you say.” with a tone of denial.
Gladly, I remember the license plate, my resource of the moment and go within and become invisible again.
Will my mom ever understand me? Will she ever accept my unique ways? I will carry these questions in my heart and soul for a very long time. I surrender, perhaps I am not quite ready to be at the top of the pecking order quite yet. Darn.
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Some twenty years later, my prophesy about moving out west is coming true!
As I sit in Sarah’s living room in her artsy mountain chalet, I admire the tall spruce trees and the full panoramic view of green touching green outside her patio window. It is my summer vacation and I am happy to be away from Ohio’s heat and humidity for awhile. I appreciate the fresh clean air as it seems to invite me to open to new parts of myself.
Everything seems to be falling into place for a move from Ohio. Is it true what I felt as a teen-ager? Is it time to move out west? These are the questions I awoke with this morning. During my two weeks absorbed in green, I have found a possible teaching position, have signed up for rolfing sessions, and have made connections for sharing my hypnosis sessions. Boulder is welcoming me with big open arms.
Sarah replies that morning, "Rhea, you are getting more calls than I am and this is my tele." This is before cell phones. Did I detect a hint of envy in her tone?
When my outside world is confusing, I learned at an early age, to go within for comfort and support. Am I moving to Boulder? After Sarah went off to be a photographer, I decide its time to get some insight from within. To find some answers. I close my eyes and in a dreamlike place, I begin to see an image. I believe it’s an image of a person. I shake my head for some clarity, and Good Lord, it’s Jesus. Yes, Jesus Christ’s bare feet are gliding him toward me. His white garment seems to be floating as his rope belt keeps his presence grounded. Or is it me that is being kept grounded? This is all happening so quickly.
A peaceful feeling spreads through my entire body as our eyes meet. At this magical moment in time, nothing else exists. I remind myself to breathe. Jesus gently moves over to me and I attempt to stand to greet him. Unsure of my ability to move at this point, I sense our energy together can fuel me. Eye to eye, we merge becoming one. I feel lost yet found at the same time. I am overcome with a deep sense of hope. What has been a few minutes in our time, will be with me forever. Just as Jesus appears, he leaves.
Full with anticipation, I begin to cry tears of joy, as I realize I am leaving my home in Ohio. Leaving my family and friends to find my real home. I am remembering a quote from a dear friend,
“I had to leave my family entirely to move beyond being a Carpenter.” Jesus Christ
Despite my resistance to the Catholic church and its dogmatic beliefs, Jesus is one dude I will happily follow.
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My Saab is heading west complete with bodies and aliveness. My thirty something self and Karolin are nearing our destination. Her one year old daughter and my wild cat are becoming acquainted in the back seat. The moving truck travels closely behind us with all my worldly belongings.
“Rhea you so amaze me, you are moving to Colorado. And so quickly. You barely gave us enough time to say good-bye. Yet it feels perfect!”
Karolin replies as we cross the Colorado border. Karolin is an Angel in my life, so supportive and nonjudgmental. She is the perfect person to send me off to my new adventure. She is a person easy to love.
Appreciating my tiny apartment in Boulder, I answer the phone,
“Hello.”
“Yes, dear Rhea, how spontaneous are you feeling today?”
“What? What do you mean?” while pouring myself a cup of coffee.
She continues, “You’ve been here what three weeks now. Are you ready to assist your first Hypnotherapy Training?” Anne, my new boss, asks in her playful, yet authoritative way.
“Wow, sure, hmm.... a lot of questions for this early hour?”
“Yes I’m easing you in for the real question.......can you be ready by tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow, the training begins tomorrow?”
“Yes, one of the other assistants has become sick and can’t make it....it would so help us!”
“Where is it?”
“Copper Mountain Ski Resort which is about a two hour drive.”
“Sure” I say as my mind spins with all the details of yet another shift.
“Sure, I’ll call my friend to see if she can watch my cat and I’ll start packing. This world of “packing’ has become way too familiar.” I say laughing.
“You’re the master of change Rhea. We’ll cover all your costs, you just need to be there to assist Yukio.”
“OK and thanks for the opportunity.”
Copper Mountain is the perfect name for this Ski Resort. I can feel its grounded nature immediately. I arrive a few minutes late to the workshop. There is anticipation in the air as the group of about twenty-five are readying themselves for a gazing exercise. A blonde haired California surfing kind of guy walks over to me and asks to be my gazing partner. This is how I met my husband, Eli.
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Driving into Sedona, I am immediately in awe by its very womb-like beauty. Red earth feasts my eyes, as my senses seem to come alive simultaneously.
“Is this place for real?” I ask from the back seat of Leif’s Jeep.
“Here’s my lame attempt to describe Sedona” using my proper voice, I imitate using a microphone in my hand and I begin,
“Sedona’s spacious expansion of red earth defies time. It looks surreal as if being on another planet or perhaps even another universe.” I giggle and continue,
“Its red arches reach to the sky while being gingerly dusted with pockets of greenery. A decided array of diversity.”
This brings a delightful moment to everyone in the vehicle, as they applaud my efforts.
“OK, honey nice try.” Eli quips, “Just wait until you really feel its diversity. The land is calling us.”
Alicia and Leif take us to their favorite funky motel in the center of town. Its inexpensive and clean and complete with a swimming pool and hot tub. I need time to acclimate to the energy around me. The vortexes seem to reach inside me. I feel their power and want to explore them further. Our first hike is to Airport Mesa.
Doves ascend from the sky and surround the top of the mesa. They fly in a spiral pattern above our heads as if to welcome us to their home! Or are they welcoming me to my new home?
After our lovely hike in fairy land, Eli met a local man at a coffee shop. They share stories which evolves into an invitation to visit with him and his wife that evening. As we walk up the wide tile steps to their home, falling stars streak across the expansive sky, as if begging me to embrace the magic of this place. I wonder why the sky feels closer here?
His wife greets us at the door, “Hello, I’m Sophia. So nice to meet both of you. My husband has told me you are visiting from San Diego. We are from California as well.”
“Hi, I’m Rhea. And this is Eli. I attempt to shake her hand and she pulls me in for a bear hug.
“Thanks for having us over on such short notice.”
“This is generally how things happen in Sedona. Quickly and spontaneously.” she reveals as if warning us somehow.
Jorge shakes his head in agreement. “Hello and welcome.”
We follow them into their small yet tasteful living room. As I am about to sit on the brown leather sofa, I look at Sophia and say,
“We are moving here!” I sit suddenly needing the sofa’s support.
“Yeeeeeesssss!” she smiles offering us wine and appetizers on the table in front of us.
"I mean here, in this house!" I excitedly continue. Eli looks my way in a state of wonder.
“Yeeeeeessss!” again exaggerating the word as she shakes her head in full agreement.
“Sophia, you seem so certain?” I ask a bit confused by her sense of surety. “How can you be so certain?”
“Do you realize who my wife is?” Jorge asks me.
“Well, what do you mean? I know her name is Sophia.” A bit ungrounded by the candor of this conversation, I am trying to find the words to match my feelings.
“My wife’s full name is Sophia Mesa, she’s one of the most admired psychics here in town.” he proudly shares.
“Oh, I understand... so you are in full agreement with our moving here?”
“Yes and ironically we are moving to San Diego next month. So this house is yours!” she chirps.
Wow, welcome to Sedona! I pinch myself back into our possible future living room.
_____________________
Awakening in our motel room the next morning, my rational mind creeps in begging for some legitimate proof. Is this really where I am being guided to live?
Eli and I discuss the possibility and agree we will move here if my fine art program, Creationship is accepted at one of the elementary schools. This can serve financially, while I develop my hypnotherapy practice. Later that day, I walk into the school office, with no appointment or anything, as if challenging the universe.
"May I speak to someone about an incredible after-school art program?" I inquire to the smiling secretary.
She looks at me curiously and says,
"Just one minute, I'll see if anyone is available."
Seconds later, she returns, "The Principal can see you right now."
Feeling a bit apprehensive, I follow into her office, "May I simply show you some of the art pieces my students have done in the past?" I ask while smiling with delight.
"Of course, please let me see them." she indicates.
I spread them out across the bare space in front of me. I show a pastel dragon, a two-sided Picasso face painting, a dancing bowl drawn with pen and ink hatching, cross-hatching and stippling lines, a plaster mask and a few clay pieces.
Even I feel proud of these master pieces, as I take a deep breath and step back to admire them. I realize my fate is at stake based on the next words spoken by this lady.
"I love them. Yes, we need more art. I would like for you to teach at this school.”
Within minutes we created a plan for my program. Amazing, I had been living in San Diego for six months and couldn't even walk into a school office because of security reasons. For marketing purposes, all I could do was mail flyers to the Principal. Hopefully, they would distribute the flyers to the teachers. If the teachers had time to look at the flyers and resonate with them, they would call me. What a joke, a teacher's world is incredibly busy. The chances of them calling were close to nil.....so no-one had called. Now I understand a bit more, San Diego was merely a stepping stone to bring me to Sedona! I love when things flow so perfectly.
“Well I guess that solidifies my feelings about moving into this house, yes?” "I'm moving to Sedona. If you wish to join me it's up to you." I reveal to Eli. I want to stop feeling guilty about being selfish and just be selfish.
Consequently, we return to San Diego to pack up all our things and return to Sedona to our new little birdhouse home. Every effort has a purpose in the overall scheme of things.
My magical Sedona journey was just beginning. I would soon find out why I was brought here. It is beyond my wildest dreams, as Sedona is lending a friendly hand to assist me to the top of My magical pecking order.....to realize my true gifts.
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